Natsume's Reaction to the Thirteen Signs of Love
by EzMouse
Summary: Sign #9: While thinking about her, your heart beats faster and faster. "...My heart wasn't beating for her, it was because of exhaustion. See the difference? That's first grade science, people." Oneshot. Natsume-centric. Slight crack.


**Disclaimer:** I do not own Gakuen Alice. The list of signs found in this story was from an old Friendster graphics website_…_ that I forgot. Nonetheless, I would like to point out that the signs were _not_ made by me. I only provided Natsume's reactions for each one. ;)

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**Natsume's Reaction to the Thirteen Signs of Love**

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Written by EzMouse

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_That's the whole reason why I hate these so-called love lists; they always have a way of trying to expose somebody against their will._

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I found myself lying in bed, staring nonchalantly at the ceiling. There hasn't been much to do these past few days, except for those constant missions in the Dangerous Ability class. Sighing, I turned, my hand landing on a piece of paper on my bed. I took it and read the contents, and I realized that it was the pamphlet that Imai shoved in my bag the other day.

_Thirteen Signs of Love_, it read. Great, more trash.

Rolling my eyes, I crumpled the pamphlet and threw it in the trash bin. It bounced off the rim and fell lightly on the ground. I tossed in my bed, trying to get some shut-eye, but there was something nagging me at the back of my head. Mentally cussing to myself, I stood up and picked up the crumpled piece of paper on the floor, smoothing it out as I sat at the edge of my bed.

_Thirteen Signs of Love_

_Love is something you cannot deny in yourself. It exists in everyone and it is important that you embrace it. Here is a list of signs that will prove that you are possibly in love with a certain person. If a lot of the signs match, then hello, darling, you're definitely in love!_

I flinched. Judging from the pink layout, the hearts pathetically scribbled around the background, and the exaggerated use of smiley faces at the end of every sentence, this is definitely something only Naru would do. Oh, there it is; his picture's at the bottom of the pamphlet. Figures. Why would Imai even have this in the first place? I don't really have any use for this, so why did she even bother to give me one? More importantly, why didn't I just burn the stupid thing when she snuck it inside my bag? Tsk.

It's not like I'm interested or anything. I wouldn't usually give a crap about these things, but hey, I've got nothing better to do. I might as well read it for the laughs and prove every sign wrong. At least that's better than staring at the ceiling.

_**Sign #13:** **You can't stay mad at her for a minute or two. You actually have to try hard to stay mad.**_

That doesn't have anything to do with falling in love. In my case, I'm _always_ mad at her. If I'm mad, I'm mad. I don't have to pretend to not be angry at her just because it's _her_. First sign has already been proven wrong. Sheesh. I should really throw this away now.

**_Sign #12:_ _You'll keep reading her IMs over and over again._**

I read them over and over because most of the time, I can't understand a single word she says. She's stupid and childish, both talking in real life _and_ in chatting. I mean, come on, only someone like Ruka would be desperate enough to keep reading the same silly messages over and over. You think I read her IMs because it's cute? _Please_.

_**Sign #11:** **You'll walk really, really slow when you're with her.**_

There isn't even any reason for me to walk around campus. I'm usually resting or lying down somewhere quiet, then she just pops out of nowhere like a mushroom and starts talking to me. What do I do? I stand up and leave, of course. But no, there she is, following me like a dog. Who would walk slowly with that kind of person tailing behind you?

_**Sign #10:** **You'll feel shy whenever you're with her.**_

What's to be shy about? The fact that she even bothered to exist and I'm treating her badly? Pffft.

_**Sign #9:** **While thinking about her, your heart beats faster and faster.**_

Two days ago, my heart was beating fast—_but_—how can't it _not_ beat fast when I just spent the last eight hours running around the darn campus, looking for the idiot who just got herself lost in the Northern Forest? My heart wasn't beating for her, it was because of exhaustion. See the difference? That's _first grade science_, people. Wait. Why did I even bother looking for her, anyway? Ah, never mind.

_**Sign #8:** **By hearing her voice, you'll smile for no reason.**_

I wasn't smiling; I was _gritting my teeth_ when she said, _"Natsume, I was looking everywhere for you!"_ What the heck? I can't believe I kept running around looking for her—and after I do find her, the moron tells me she also spent the last eight stinkin' hours looking for _me_! Ugh. I have to make a mental note not to do anything like that again.

_**Sign #7:** **While looking at her, you can't see the other people around you but her.**_

What, are you saying that I'm _blind_? I have no time to pay attention to other people around me when they aren't even worth my time. They'd be lucky enough to see me look at them, but tough luck, I'm too busy glaring at _someone_.

**_Sign #6:_ _You'll start listening to slow songs._**

There wouldn't even be time to listen to songs on my iPod when there's hardly any peace and quiet around here with her around. Ever since she got here, the whole school has turned into boombox—a loud, freaking boombox.

**_Sign #5:_ _She becomes all you think about._**

Yeah, I think about her; I think about how the heck I'm going to kill her tomorrow.

**_Sign #4:_ _You'll get high just because of her smell._**

High? Look, she isn't a drug, got it? And I don't go around sniffing people. It's not my fault her scent of strawberries fills the entire room whenever she comes in. It's so strong, I swear, that girl could be bathing in strawberry juice or something. Anybody with a nose would be able to inhale it. Duh.

**_Sign #3:_ _You'll realize that you're always smiling to yourself whenever you think about her._**

Like I said before, I don't smile—I frustratingly _grit_ my teeth whenever I think about all the stupid things she does to me. Can't you tell? They're two very different things, so stop getting it all mixed up.

**_Sign #2: You'll do anything for her._**

Anything _for_ her? Maybe if you meant anything _to_ her, then yeah. If I feel like smacking her on the head, I will. If I feel like calling her names, I will. If I feel like throwing her outside the window, you bet I will.

**_Sign #1:_ _While reading this, there was only one person in your mind the entire time._**

I'm not even going to comment on that.

…

Ugh. That's the whole reason why I hate these so-called love lists; rhey always have a way of trying to expose somebody against their will.

I try to hold my anger on her because she's such a baby who'll cry the very minute I raise my voice on her. I wasn't even trying to be mean, but she manages to turn that against me. Then she'll get all emotional again which makes her _more_ annoying than she already is—and I'll feel _guilty _for being the bad guy.

Her stupid IMs usually say, _"Hi, Natsume! Did you miss me?" _or _"Goodnight Natsume. Think of me before you go to sleep." _I'm pretty sure I'm not exactly her most favorite person in the world, and I understand that. That's why I push her away. And even though we don't even get along, she talks like we're best friends or something. It just doesn't make any sense.

She's like this shadow whenever she follows me around, you know? I could easily get away from her if I wanted to, but I wouldn't be at peace when I suddenly lose sight of her. That girl is a walking danger zone. Having her follow me around is better so that I wouldn't have to look for her in case she gets caught up in something stupid like falling into a hole, or tripping over her own feet, or running into that damn Andou—_brick wall_—that damn _brick wall_. Yes, that's how clumsy she is. How can I not worry about someone like that?

The hell with being shy. She's practically the only person who understands—or at least _tries_ to understand—who I really am and still accepts me despite all my threats to make her stay away. I'm not exactly comfortable with her being all close or buddy-buddy with me, but it's not like I have a choice, do I? She's just as stubborn as I am.

As sick as it sounds, my _nonexistent heart_ beats fast whenever I think about her. Maybe I'm going crazy, or maybe it's the fact that everything she does makes me feel weird inside… that it just makes me want to _throw up_. Darn her for making me feel so messed up.

Usually, my nerve twitches whenever I hear that big fat mouth of hers calling my name when I'm enjoying my solitude. Even though I try to deny it, I somehow prefer her annoying, screeching voice to any kind of music ever created.

Do you feel like puking yet? It gets worse.

Whenever I'm with her or I talk to her, I don't care where we are—whether we're in the public library or in the middle of street, I don't care—I always seem to forget that we're not the only two darn human beings in this wretched world.

The sappy love songs I hear whenever I turn on the radio always reminds me of what I feel about her until it comes to the point that she's practically all I ever think about for the entire day. Don't get me wrong. I'm not a sap, mind you.

Her scent of strawberries reminded me of the fruit I once loved but now hated because of this bad childhood memory. Now, because of her, I've started eating them again without having to feel sorry for myself. Of all fruits, why does she have to smell like strawberries, anyway? I bet my theory about her bathing in strawberry juice is true.

When I think about it, if she ever needed something that was found at the ends of the earth, I'd probably be dumb enough to go look for it—without her knowing, of course. And you know what the irony of this statement is? The earth _has_ no end! It's round, remember? _Round_! Now I'm going insane. Ugh.

And this brings us back to the first sign.

I guess you've probably figured out who this _her_ or _she_ person I've been talking about for the past six minutes is. If you have a brain, you'll know that it isn't Imai. Just because it's only her name that I've mentioned here, it doesn't mean it's her, dimwits.

…Damn it_._ I just realized now why this has _thirteen_ signs.

Am I that unlucky to fall for **Mikan Sakura** so easily?

Wait. Why did her freaking name suddenly appear in bold letters?

Well, never mind. At least she's lucky enough to have someone like me to—_hey_, why the heck am I telling _you_ all this? I can never get some privacy with all you moronic fangirls stalking me like a bunch of idiots. _Scram_.

Stupid love, stupid Polka Dots. It's all her fault I'm saying disgusting things again. How could I, a very unlucky person, be so lucky enough to have someone like her there for me? Crap. I never expected that there will come a time when I'd actually consider myself lucky to have met Mikan Sakura.

Don't get me wrong. It's not like I _wanted_ to fall in love. _Eck_. Love. I detest that word. For a genius, I can be pretty darn stupid when it comes to these things. _Her_ of all people; the idiotic, pigtailed, polka-dotted, strawberry-scented crybaby.

It's not supposed to be this way. I wasn't supposed to love her this much.

…

But I'm pretty glad I did.

God, I must have completely lost it.

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**Author's Notes:** The last update of this oneshot was last made on August 8, 2008. When I reread this just recently, I couldn't help but notice how utterly messy it was written and how out of character Natsume was. I can't believe I've missed that. It just proves how immature and careless I was back then. Haha. I had some free time on my hands, so I've revised it all as of May 14, 2010. I've tidied up the construction of the whole story and did major changes on Natsume's reaction to the signs, especially on Sign Number One. Oh, and I've also tweaked the title a little, not that it made much of a difference. Hopefully, this new version is slightly better, now that Natsume sounds a little more in-character despite having professed his undying love to Mikan. XD

Review, loves. It makes my FFN world go round. Tell me if there are any errors, too. :)

P.S. - I've activated my Fanfiction Facebook account, so feel free to add and talk to me there. Link is found on my profile. Oh, and the poll for my other oneshot, _Our Suicidal Engagement_, is still open. Keep the votes coming. :)_  
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